Just who are Joe and Jody? Evidently, some readers are afraid to ask such questions. "There is no such thing as a stupid question," though I've had some people seriously try to test that theory. Still, if there is any question in the mind of any reader, feel free to check the glossary or ask. The Military does have it's own language that is as foreign to American civilians as Fahrvernuegen is to an Afghan Goat Herder.
Joe is a Soldier. He's any Soldier. He's every Soldier, but mostly he's that Soldier right there doing something he isn't supposed to be doing. You know Joe. He's that guy that always wears the brown
boots and that greenish digitial camoflauge. He has a short haircut and always seems to have a hat on outside.
But you don't know Joe. Joe will break stuff. You can put him a padded room with a steel ball and he'll figure out a way to break it. Since Joe breaks everything, the Army buys "Joe-proof" stuff. Joe still figures out how to break it, but it takes him a bit longer. That's why Joe is made to look at his stuff every week and write down everyting he broke on it. Some other Joe, Invisible Joe, is always the one that broke it.
See that Joe be-bopping across the PX parking lot with no headgear? "Joe, HEY, JOE!" Dammit, that Joe's been around a while. He acts like he can't hear us. That Joe probably has his sham shield, an E4, a Specialist. Been in long enough to know how to avoid work and not quite long enough to be in charge of it.
Joe is a sneaky lil' bastard. Put a girl in Ft. Knox and he'll figure a way to get in there. Tell Joe he can't go out on the town and he'll bring the town to him. When Djinni's were learning how to twist wishes into curses, he went to Joe for lessons. "No beer in the barracks?" He'll have a cooler on the lawn and fifth of whiskey in his locker. Joe will drive you mad.
When Joe realized that plastic don't stop bullets, HumVees started looking like the Beverly Hillbillies Buggy with metal rough cut, welded, bolted, or nailed in place. Thank God, Joe is an ingenous kid.
Joe is a good kid but don't let him get a hold of Jody. If Joe ever figures out who Jody is, there'll be hell to pay. As sneaky as Joe is, Jody can be sneakier. There are a number of different Jody's but the worst one is Soldier Jody.
Jody is Joe's nemesis. Jody is always trying to get Joe's girl's pants and he'll do anything to do it. Sensitive Jody is there to give her a shoulder to cry on when Joe forgets the flowers. Jody knows Joe can beat him up, and will, so Jody normally waits until Joe is in the field or off at war.
Then comes Lawnmower Jody to mow her lawn. Dancer Jody shows up at the NCO club and loves the bars downtown. Fix-it Jody is quick to change the light bulb. And Friendly Jody will love to take her out for a dinner. Listen Jody knows Joe's terrible deeds and Sympathy Jody tells her she deserves better.
Trashcan Jody knows she can't lift those heavy bags. And Suitcase Jody helps her from the airport. Co-Worker Jody is the first to know Joe is gone and willing to share his lunch. Lesbian Jody has all the toys but won't play when Joe is around.
Flower Jody has FTD on speed dial. And Internet Jody is always ready for a roadtrip. There's early morning Jody, ready at 9am and out by noon. And there's Drink's Jody, that'll feed her all night long. He's normally hanging out with Party Jody.
Movie Jody has the "Pearl Harbor" DVD. And Wine Jody comes with a bottle of Riesling and a corkscrew. Bowling Jody will rent her shoes. And Shopping Jody will take her to the Mall. Jody is sneaky and will do anything to get in her pants, even those sensitive things Real Men don't do.
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