When one researches and reads about the lives of Our Individual Warriors, you learn not only a little about what drives them to serve individually, but also about the characteristics that produces these Great Men, willing to sacrifice greatly while risking all to protect others. Too often, we don't know what we have until its gone.
One interesting trend I've noted is the above average propensity of Our Troops to have played sports in High School. It shouldn't be surprising as it instills teamwork and I also played sports in school. Another is the number of stories of helping others. Our Troops seem more likely than not to have lived a life of going out of their way to help those weaker, poorer, or in any way less fortunate. Quite often, they are the popular kid in School that befriends the geeks, the nerds, and other outcasts of school society, while leading the football team and volunteering for a local Non-Profit.
Some units and some Nations do better at remembering their achievements than others. Rarely would I ignore the words spoken by a family member, but for every rule, there is an exception. Cindy Sheehan would be the obvious exception. Some will forgive her misuse, but I see her for what she is: a political and financial profiteer that uses her son's sacrifice for her own gain. She makes a good example for many Warriors to explain to their families of what not to do. I used that example with my own family.
Does that mean that every family that sets up a trust fund in their Warrior's name is profiteering? NO! Most are taking up the mantle of what their Warrior held most dear: his children. It is the rare exception that a relative will sully the memory with a profit motive. In one case, I know of a woman that set up a fund to send care packages to the comrades of her fallen Warrior. This is but one method of healing.
And too often, the pain and suffering is used for the political or financial gains of others. Sometimes it is subtle and sometimes it is blatant, but it becomes more apparent when one researches the lives of Our Fallen Warriors. The Military instills the moral that if one sees something wrong, provide a solution. So, when I was sent a request to donate money to a "Non-Profit" so a family could provide them the story of a Fallen Warrior's life, I was angry, but determined to provide an alternative to such greedy motivations. Think Jesus in the Temple, overturning tables, angry. I'm nowhere near a Christ figure, but it effected me in that way. I knew that it costs me nothing to set up a site to individually Honor my Fallen Brothers, except to take the time to find out about them. The question of where to chisel out the time was the question. Project Honor was born.
I had only a concept of the results I was looking for, but I had plenty of examples of the wrong way of doing things. I know those things which have annoyed me in memorials and websites. The first was reducing their sacrifice to a number. The daily assault in the MSM of how many numbers had died in Iraq was in large part the impetus for the first version of War On Terror News. It is very impersonal and usually designed as a means to politically oppose the very mission my Brothers accepted.
Until then, I had tried to keep up with the news in Iraq and Afghanistan and found the first headline was the latest number. In those days, the number was only Iraq. CNN did not maintain a list of those who gave their lives in Afghanistan, because Afghanistan was "the just war." They weren't trying to undermine support for the War In Afghanistan then. Much has changed since then and it began with the MSM being shamed into "Honoring" the Fallen in both wars, but changed into Afghanistan returning to prominence in the news and becoming the target of the anti-war crowd, both of whom reveled in their success at undermining support for the War in Iraq.
It didn't take long, after the current version of War on Terror News went up, for partisans to pressure us about reporting the deaths of Our Troops in the War On Terrorism. We were accused of only partial reporting and my defense was that the MSM were more than making up for that one area on which we were not focused. But I had to admit that My Fallen Brothers were a part of that story. And I searched for a way to Honor their Sacrifice. At the least, I could remove the numerical status and give them a name. And they were surrounded by the stories of their Honor. The stories of Troop Victories, of Troop Generosity, of Troop Valor. I knew that at the least, for every sacrifice told, 10 stories of victory were published.
I endeavored to tell more of their story, to put a picture with the name, but too often the only information we could find was their name, rank, and unit. There was no complete record of their lives to be found and even tidbits weren't available most times when we published the notification.
There was one thing that was clear to me: Many families went into worry overdrive when a nameless death was reported in the MSM. Those families searched for any detail that would tell them it might be their son or daughter or could rule it out, while all waited for the dreaded arrival of a Warrior at their door or a phone call or email from their Troop.
On the other side of the world, the Military would shut down communications until the family was notified, but too often issue a press release that someone had been killed. The Military continues this practice in the interests of the News Media which eats up the chance to be the first to report, even while it knows that a family should never be told in any way but in person. The communications blackout demonstrates the importance they place on personal notification, but the press release demonstrates the Military's idiotic policies. The command cannot fail to understand that it causes mass worry, but still does not change it.
Instead of one family grieving and the families of comrades feeling guilty relief and sorrow, hundreds or thousands anxiously awaited the name. We determined to never add to that worry.
Though the Iraq War had produced partisan loyalists on one side of the aisle that used the numbers for political goals, the change of party power in Washington in 2009 initially produced a reversal of roles. Suddenly, some who had been using the numbers chastised us for reporting the names and those that had opposed political use of the numbers saw it as a means to undermine support for the new POTUS in "his war." The change was just as wrong as it had been when partisans on the other side of the aisle were doing it. Our Troops don't fight, don't sacrifice, and don't risk all to get a party or a politician elected. They serve whether they voted for the guy in office, or his opponent, even if their vote is never counted.
Democrats, Republicans, Independents, and members of 3rd parties serve in the Military, even if some elements are more heavily represented than others. The question is not why one segment is more represented than another, but why all parties aren't equally supportive of Our Troops. One does not need to belong to one party or the other to Support Our Troops, or see the necessity of the Mission, or the Honor of those that serve. One does not need to leave their party because it isn't doing the right thing. They can serve the Nation better by pressing their party to do the right thing and to vote for politicians that do, regardless of the letter behind their name.
The media focus, for weeks, on the death of child molester Michael Jackson brought into focus another issue: the difference of how celebrities vs. Our Protectors are treated in death. The total amount of time dedicated in the media to the TWO "journalists" killed in both wars probably supercedes the amount devoted to ALL Warriors that gave their lives for Freedom in 9+ years. Congress had a moment of silence for the child molester while ignoring Our Troops. Someone suggested that Congress and the Media should have a moment of silence for the Fallen Warriors of that week. As that was predictably ignored by the politicians in Washington and the MSM, the person then expressed outrage at those of that political party.
While I agreed that Congress and the Media should treat Our Fallen with equal honor, minimally, as they do dead celebrities, and more than they give a child molester, it struck me that the individual's call was to have a single moment of silence and that they didn't Honor the Names, but again used the number, politically, to attack a party. I addressed this with the supporters of the effort. I suggested a solution and was told that it needed to play on emotions. The person did not wish to give up the partisan goals.
In one more person I had considered a friend and colleague, I found only a different kind of partisan motivation and self-service. It was a sad day, that I realized that one more person was doing the right things for the wrong reasons, and that until that time, he had fooled me.
"If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem." This started the Moments of Silence in which each Fallen Warrior is honored in their individual moment. I could find no one that was willing to accept the responsibility and had to accept it myself, along with Ms Marti, who already does so much. This effort is conducted each week on Twitter, with the Name, Unit, Location, and Date, on Mondays at 1PM Eastern. Many tweet, re-tweet, or observe in Twitter silence, as the Names of Our Warriors are observed, individually, in their moment. It is very solemn to us to add to these names and to tweet them.
And I found no joy, that the notifications became so visited. We initially hoped that, at least, visitors would look to the news of Our Troops when finding us in this way. But then we saw that many a family would visit and be comforted by friends, who would leave a story of the Greatness of Our Fallen. Occasionally, a partisan or malcontent will post their hate, but we deal with such quickly. Each story is protected agressively from those that would sully the memory with their personal motivations. We update the notification with information and pictures when we get it, which may be right away or may take some time. But we take solace in knowing that friends and family have a place to remember without worry of malcontents. We are honored when they entrust us with preserving that memory, when they share a bit about their Warrior.
But there were some things with which I could not reconcile. I still found that most "memorial tributes" were in one way or another attempting to financially gain from the loss of My Brothers. I still searched for a way to overcome that problem, and any perception that I too was partaking in it.
On some sites, the authors outright ask for donations for their efforts. On other sites, people are "invited" to buy flowers, even when the family has asked that those concerned donate to a specific Non-Profit or to a college fund for the kids of the Fallen Warrior. At our main sites, we have advertising. It is how we pay for the costs of the site and the extra money, we donate to the Non-Profits we trust to use the money efficiently and in line with their stated missions. None of Our Contributors is paid a dime, and none will be unless the site earns enough to pay all for their efforts. Perhaps someday, but that someday doesn't look to be anywhere in the near future. Even then, if then should ever come, at least 10% will always to be donated to true Pro-Troop Non-Profits.
But just the fact that ads exist could be perceived as a financial interest and misuse of the sacred trust. We could not ignore the Sacrifices made, but it was Our Goal to Honor Our Troops in an environment that could not be sullied with perceptions of financial interest. I still update those notifications, with pictures and some information as soon as I find it, but when I research Our Fallen and tell as much of their story as I can find, I post it to Project Honor, and then put links to their life story back in the notification and in Moments of Silence. I do that because more find the notifications than the story.
And at Project Honor, we tell their story, without advertising, without donations, without politics. We can do this because it costs us nothing to have Project Honor. It costs us nothing but the time it takes to research their story. And the story we find is its own reward. It is our Honor to tell it. And we believe that every Warrior that has given his life in the Defense of Freedom, the Defense of Democracy, the Defense of others that were unable to defend themselves, deserves to be remembered for the life he led, not the single moment the enemy got lucky. We do accept others in the effort, those that wish to receive the personal and inner reward that comes with finding and researching and telling those stories.
Each story is only a beginning. We hope that every story is updated with stories of those that knew the Warrior, but we know that we will only find enough of the story on many, and we will Honor each to the extent that we can, unequally as that may be.