To begin with, let's get this straight: the government is the servant of the people, not the other way around. We're making the government, reluctantly, because its a necessary evil, but we're limiting it because well, history proves that government usually abuses power (Preamble).
So, we're going to select Representatives by election, and they are the ones that are going to write all laws. If they suggest a law, the President then has a choice to make it a law or not. The Representatives are going to the people we think are the most level-headed, and smartest, and most like us. ONLY Our Representatives can suggest increasing taxes on us, and they're the ones that will tell the government how much it can spend.
We get to decide when we hold elections, through Our State governments, and the politicians have to work, at least once a year, in December. Since we already have governments (States), and they're closer to us than you are, we're going to have Our Representatives at those governments send Senators to also keep you in line. We'll pay you for the work you do.
Our Representatives can fire the President if he breaks the law or becomes a tyrant.
Don't be taxing us into the poorhouse. Don't be spending Our Money like drunken politicians. You have to tell us how every dime is spent. All your taxes have to be uniform to all. You can't be playing favorites. Only Our Representatives can borrow money.
Our Representatives will make the rules for the Military, and pay Our Troops and build places for training and living of the Troops. And before you go starting wars, you have to convince Our Representatives that we should go to war. No one gets to use Our Troops against us, unless there's a rebellion.
You can't make laws against things that already happened. Any laws you make are only about the future, and no one is guilty of breaking the law before it was made.
Our Representatives get to make the laws for what goes on in Washington DC too. They get to decide about printing money, building post offices and roads to them, and make copyright and patent laws, as well as punishing pirates.
Don't be taxing us a bunch of money. And don't be spending Our Money without Our Representatives saying you can.(Article 1)
And because we know that there needs to be someone to conduct the day to day business with the world, we'll pay a guy to preside over the government we authorize. He doesn't have any authority over us. His job is to run the government, not to rule the People, us. Remember, we're the boss, not you. You don't rule us. We rule you. You work for us.
He can talk to the Ambassadors of other countries and make agreements with them, for us, if Our Senators say its okay. And if the Senators say so, he can pay people to help him run the government. If the Senators aren't around, he can hire someone TEMPORARILY until they start working again.(Article 2)
And since we know people are always arguing over stupid things, we'll let the President suggest judges that Our Senators have to approve, to settle disputes. The judges get to judge. They don't get to make any laws. You have to let us decide, by jury, if the person did what you said they did. And you can't be hauling him off to another place to have the trial.
And you can't be killing people just because you call them traitors. You have to prove they actually helped the enemy, while we're at war, not just because they said they don't like how you act or you think they insulted you. To prove they are traitors, you have to have two people swear they did. (Article 3)
Citizens of one State get to move to other States and be Citizens there if they want to, and the new State will trust the other one's papers. Criminals will be sent back to the State where they did the crime. All the States will be run by Representatives elected by the People too. The Federal government is responsible for making sure foreigners don't invade their borders. (Article 4)
If you don't like the rules we made for you, you can suggest changes, but 2/3rds of the politicians have to convince 3/4ths of the States to change Our Rules. (Article 5)
We'll pay the debt you racked up in the old government, and all the agreements you made.
Our government, Our Rules. These Rules supercede all rules, agreements, and anything else you say or do. If you want to make a rule we said you can't, it doesn't mean anything, no matter how many times you say it does. Now, before you can be part of Our Government, swear that you'll obey Our Rules. (Article 6)
These Rules are in effect as soon as 3/4ths of Our States say so. (Article 7)
Yeah, we figured you'd get too big for your britches, so here are some more rules for you:
We get to say what we want to say, where we want to say it. We can do it in churches, papers, or in petitions and protests. And you can't tell us what religion to have, nor stop us from praying. You can't stop us from telling you that you're a bunch of blood sucking leeches. (1st Amendment)
We get to keep Our Guns. Guns are important to keep us Free. You ain't takin' our guns. (2nd Amendment)
Our Troops won't get free lodging on Our Property, unless there's a war going on. Otherwise you have to pay us rent if you want us to give Soldiers a bed. (3rd Amendment)
You don't get to look through Our Stuff unless you can prove to a Judge that we did something wrong. You don't get to take Our Stuff from us either. That means you can't go through any of Our Stuff, not our pockets, nor our homes, nor our papers. You can't search NONE of Our Stuff, unless you prove to a judge that we did something wrong. (4th Amendment)
You can't try to kill someone, unless a bunch of us (grand jury) says there's a reason to give him a trial. You can't take Our Stuff, until you've proven to us (due process/court) that someone did something wrong or you pay us a fair price for it. You can't keep trying to prove someone guilty. You get one chance. You can't take his Stuff, his Liberty, or his Life, until you have proved he's a criminal. (5th Amendment)
If you're trying to convince us he's a criminal, you have to have the trial right away. It's got to be in public and in the place you said he did it. You can't be using the infamous "someone" as a witness to your allegations. Either the person says it to the guy on trial, or it doesn't get said. And the guy you accuse gets to have one of those educated, double-speaking lawyers too. You're not the only one that gets to hire the liars. (6th Amendment)
Any time more than twenty bucks is on the line, we get to have a bunch of us decide, a jury of us. And if a jury says we're not guilty, you can't take us to a different court and try again.(7th Amendment)
You can't make us pay a bunch a money while we're waiting for a trial. And you can't be making up cruel punishments, even if our peers say we're guilty.(8th Amendment)
Just cause we didn't tell you you couldn't do something doesn't mean you can. Anything we didn't say you could do, you can't. Remember, WE are YOUR bosses, not the other way around. (9th Amendment)
Let me say this again, if we didn't tell you you can do it, you can't. Anything we didn't say you could do, are things we get to do, or Our States get to do. (10th Amendment)
Like we said in the beginning (Preamble), WE, THE PEOPLE, are in charge of the government. You work for us, not the other way around. We tell YOU what to do, what you can and can't do. Don't be getting too big for your britches. Don't start thinking you can tell us what to say or do, or what we can or can't own, or what we can or can't buy, or what we have to buy. Don't be trying to take Our Stuff, or looking through it.
Stumble It!
